


Sorrow

by silkmoth



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-10
Updated: 2011-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-14 15:34:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/150798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkmoth/pseuds/silkmoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin is breaking down, and Arthur is finally listening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Coda for episode 02x12.

**Sorrow**

  
“What’s going on with him, Gaius?”

“What do you mean, sire?”

Arthur lifted one eyebrow; Gaius did the same and as always, was much better at this. The prince sighed.

“Gaius, I’m not stupid. Merlin… I can’t even describe the mood he is in. Surely you have noticed?”

The old man didn’t answer.

“Come on! I would have thought him being proud and not… acting as if his best friend had died. Without his help we all would be dead by now.”

“Sire, maybe he has the feeling a friend did die. Morgana…”

Arthur lowered his head. “Morgana… this was my fault. I should have saved her.” He swallowed and continued, “do you think… Merlin. Do you think he blames me for this? I know he’s in love with her and I…”

Gaius interrupted him. “In love with her? What… ah Arthur, maybe you should really talk with him. I’m absolutely sure he doesn’t blame you; he blames himself.”

“But why? He did everything in his power to make things right. He almost died himself. And yes, I want to talk to him, that’s why I’m here. Do you know where he is?”

“No, he said he had something to do. I don’t know…”

The door opened and Merlin came in, his face white as a sheet. He looked so awful that both men, Arthur and Gaius, rushed over to him immediately, gripping his arms. Merlin actually wobbled; Arthur was sure he would go down if not for Gaius and himself. His manservant looked up at him with glazed eyes and then broke free from Gaius grip and swayed towards the prince.

“Arthur… I… it’s all my fault. I can’t seem to stop making wrong decisions. I’m dangerous, you have to stop me. I have to tell you…”

“MERLIN!”

Merlin jumped in Arthur’s arms and turned around to Gaius, who looked at him with a warning in his eyes.

“Gaius, I can’t do this anymore. I have to…”

“No. Merlin, no. Sire, listen, he is obviously not in his right mind. Let me take care of him and…”

“And what, Gaius? Make sure he shuts up? No. No more lies anymore… I want to know what’s going on. Come on, Merlin. We’re going…”

“To your father? Yes, maybe that’s for the best. I thought about going to Uther myself, but you should know first. But… everything I did was for you. Before today. And even today I… I thought…”

“Merlin, calm down. Whatever it is, you can tell me, alright? And we’re most certainly not going anywhere near my father, we’re going to my chambers.”

Ignoring Gaius’ protests, the prince left, dragging Merlin with him.

****

A few hours later, long after midnight, Arthur sat on his bed and stared at his manservant. Merlin was sitting on the rug before the fireplace, knees drawn up to his chest, arms around his legs, looking exhausted. No wonder. He had talked for hours, without glancing at Arthur once. Only now, he had stopped, still staring at his feet, his cheeks wet from tears.

Arthur tried to wrap his mind around what he had heard. As he had told Gaius, he wasn’t stupid. He had suspected for a while now that Merlin was able to work _some_ magic; but he sure as hell had not expected this… this… _most powerful warlock ever, destiny, dragon, druids, Mordred, old religion_ _stuff_. And as for Morgana… he had had suspicions too. Especially after what happened today; the whole potion story hadn’t been true, Arthur knew when Morgana lied. But her being responsible for killing everyone in Camelot? That couldn’t be true. Maybe Morgana had been after his father; that Arthur could believe. But the other people… no, never. Arthur was sure she had been tricked by that other sorceress, Morgause. But still… his manservant was a powerful warlock and his almost sister a witch. It was a little bit much to hear in one night. And on top of that, there was now a dragon, free to go wherever he liked, a dragon who had been imprisoned under the castle. All the things his father hadn’t told him… quite interesting. Arthur wondered what else he didn’t know.

The prince took a deep breath. All of it came down to one cause: The King. If his father had been honest, if he hadn’t been so possessed with his fear and hate about magic… none of this would have happened. Arthur knew it would make no sense to talk to his father; he would never change his mind. But maybe it was time for him, the next king, to make a stand. He wouldn’t be able to do this openly, but he had enough power to protect the ones he loved. And he would right now start with the person he loved most. Arthur stood up.

Merlin startled at his sudden motion, and watched Arthur out of red eyes as the prince walked over to the door, opening it. After a few quiet words with one of the guards, Arthur closed the door again and turned around to Merlin. By now, his manservant had stood up too, shivering badly.

“Arthur… I know I have no right to ask for a favour. But please, could you do it?”

“Do what?”

Merlin pointed to Arthur’s sword, lying carelessly thrown on the floor. “Just… please. I don’t want to be down there, in front of the crowd. Please.”

Arthur looked back and forth between his manservant and his sword, not getting it for a moment. All of a sudden, he understood and promptly felt sick to his stomach. Merlin thought… Gods in Heaven.

With three long strides, he was right in front of Merlin, drawing him into a tight embrace.

“Are you mad? Are you…? Do you think I would harm you?” Arthur grabbed Merlin’s shoulders and shoved him back; not too far, though. “Do you think I would let anyone hurt you? Ever? Merlin, maybe you haven’t noticed yet, but I would lay down my own life for you.”

“Haven’t you heard what I told you? Morgana? The dragon?”

“Oh, I’ve listened, alright. I don’t know, and neither do you, what really happened with Morgana. But I do know that if you haven’t done what you did, we would all be dead now. Morgana had obviously made a bargain with a dark sorceress. It’s on her head; and most probably on my father’s head, too. And for the dragon,” Arthur huffed, “do you remember what I was willing to do just to talk _once_ with my mother? You set the dragon free to save your mother’s life. And since I’ve listened very well, I know that this beast had been able to back you into this corner because of me… and Gaius. So stop with this guilt shit, okay? There was nothing for you to do.”

“I could have talked to Morgana… a long time ago. Maybe she wouldn’t have…”

“Yes, maybe. And maybe not. Maybe she would have tried to use you… or even betrayed you. You can’t know that, neither can I. Who can…” Arthur was interrupted by a knock on the door which made Merlin freeze again all over. “Would you please stop that, Merlin? Relax.”

Arthur released his manservant saying, ‘enter.” In the next moment, the prince’s chambers were swarming with servants. A few dragged a giant tub in, filling it with hot water while others dished out food and plates on the table. Minutes later, all of them had left again. Arthur was satisfied, especially when he saw his manservant’s stunned looking face.

“Arthur? What… what is this?”

“You really look like you should eat something. And a long hot bath won’t hurt either.”

“Arthur, there is a dragon out there!”

“Yes. And what do you want me to do right now?”

“Tell your father?”

“Tell him what? That the dragon has left the castle? A dragon he forgot to tell me about? I just bet it will be me and my knights against that thing sometime in the future. But right now? I’m gonna eat. And so will you.” Arthur shook his head. “You know, I’m sick and tired cleaning up behind the mess my father is responsible for. I lost ten knights today. And if not for you, I would have been dead, too. Again. Now, sit down and eat before you pass out.”

****

After they had eaten, Arthur had wrestled Merlin into the tub. It was a very large tub, and the prince was tempted to get in there, too. But he didn’t want to swamp Merlin… at least not too soon. Washing Merlin’s back, though… he could give it a try, couldn’t he?

The moment he picked up the sponge and started, Merlin turned around slightly and stared at him unbelievingly.

“What are you doing?”

“Washing your back.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to. Gods, Merlin, would you please relax? If your shoulders get any higher you’ll rip your ears off.”

Arthur dropped the sponge into the tub and laid his hands on Merlin’s shoulders, pushing them down. Once he got his hands on this skin, though, he couldn’t resist. He pressed his thumbs carefully into the muscles beside Merlin’s spine and was rewarded immediately by a startled moan from the other man. Arthur swallowed; he hadn’t thought Merlin would sound like that and he had surely not known how soft his skin was. That was just great; nothing had happened yet and he was already more than ready to jump Merlin. Arthur took a deep breath and stared down at the black hair before him. Merlin didn’t move a muscle and for a second, neither did Arthur. Then… he couldn’t resist. Again. He slowly slid one hand up into that beautiful hair and gripped it gently, drawing the head back until he could look into Merlin’s face. Oh yes. Merlin’s eyes were almost black with arousal, his face flushed, his mouth slightly open. And again, the prince couldn’t hold himself back. Taking one step to the side to get a better angle, he brought his mouth down onto those seductive lips and kissed Merlin, sliding his tongue against Merlin’s. Arthur still had a grip on the dark hair and with his right hand, he stroked down over Merlin’s chest, teasing a nipple for a moment and then went on until he could close his hand around the erection he could see quite nicely in the water. Merlin almost bucked him off and splashed Arthur with water all over; not that it mattered, because in the next moment the prince felt Merlin’s hand on his arms and a sudden tug and then Arthur went into the tub, head first.

“Oh, your clothes…” Merlin panted. “Sorry, I…”

“Shut up.”

And they were back at kissing frantically, while Merlin was trying to rip Arthur’s clothes off. The prince wished fervently that his manservant would succeed; he couldn’t help him because for the life of him, Arthur wasn’t able to stop touching Merlin.

“Arthur, Arthur…I… _oh Gods_!” Merlin threw his head back over the rim of the tub and groaned loudly; at the same time Arthur felt Merlin’s cock jerk and pulse, and that was it. Arthur went straight over with his manservant, shuddering all over and almost drowning the other man. And he still had his goddamn pants and boots on.

****

“What about Gwen?”

Bloody hell. Arthur should have known that Merlin would be a talker in bed… and wow, Arthur could think of much more important things than Gwen.

“What about her?”

“You’re in love with her.”

Now that did it. Arthur opened his eyes, stared at his obviously crazy lover and said, “ _WHAT?_ ”

“The dragon told me. Remember that kiss in the tent? Kiss of true love? I…I’m not sure how I…why are you laughing?”

“ _The dragon told you?_ The dragon that lied to you, blackmailed you and pushed you around? That dragon? Seriously, Merlin. I had a crush on her. That crush died when the whole thing with Lancelot went down. I may have a soft spot for her, she’s a nice girl. But in love? Not on your life. I’m in love with you, you moron. And if I had known all it would take would have been to feed and bathe you… we could have been together for months.”

“But…”

“No buts. Go to sleep, Merlin. I just bet tomorrow will be awful. Dragon fighting the whole day. Oh one thing: I want you to move up here, in the servant’s room. From now on, we’ll be together in this. Don’t you dare leave my side for the next years.”

“Arthur? I love you, too.”

Arthur closed his eyes again, smiled and drew the man in his arms even closer.

“I know, Merlin. Believe me, I know.”

  
The End.


End file.
